Monthly Archives: February 2016

SNOB NEWS

Bishopston twats continue their campaign to protect their little Jocastas and Edwards from the evils of er, J D WETHERSPOON.

The affordable pub chain has put in yet another application to open an outlet at 349-353 Gloucester Road. Which has – again – been met with howls of outrage by local residents and the ridiculous snobs at the BISHOPSTON SOCIETY who claim – on the basis of zero evidence – that it will lead to “anti social behaviour” and “compete with local small businesses”.

Imagine. Competition that sells a cup of coffee and food in a child-friendly environment at at least half the price of existing ‘independent’ Gloucester Road outlets. How anti-social can you get?

HOMELESS NEWS

HooperMayor Wanker’s Tory boy housing boss, Nick “DROOPER” Hooper is threatening to EVICT homeless people living in parks in tents because they’re “a nuisance that attracts anti-social behaviour.”

No doubt they also ruin the view when this SUPERANNUATED HOUSING PONCE looks out of the window of his Clifton pile?

Instead, the man handsomely paid to be directly responsible for the homeless problem in Bristol says the homeless should “SLEEP IN DOORWAYS” or “UNDER BRIDGES” while the incompetent oaf thinks up something else to do with them all.

This news comes hard on the heels of Drooper’s attempts to evict high-profile anti-pollution activist Steve “THE AVON MOUTH” Norman from his Avonmouth council home for parking his car with a disabled blue badge in, er … a parking space!

Let’s hope the first thing the new mayor does in May is sack Drooper, a revolting piece of Tory shit with no place in our city.

MARKET FARCES: ‘REASONABLE’ LOSSES?

MarketsElsewhere in the latest markets report we’re assured that the OLD BENT MANAGEMENT of the service has now been moved on in favour of a new, young all-singing, all dancing team.

So how are the new team getting on? Well, a careful read of the report reveals they have managed to collect just 73 PER CENT of their total income for the year so far. This means over a quarter of the service’s income is going uncollected.

We calculate this amounts to a figure not unadjacent to £100K A YEAR that new bosses have failed to bank on our behalf.

Meanwhile Internal Audit assure us – after three years of constant work – that, “Controls are operating at an ACCEPTABLE level and management can take REASONABLE assurance that MANY of the risks to the service are effectively managed.”

Hardly fills you with confidence does it? Meet the new boss, same as the old boss!

MARKET FARCES: A WRITE OFF?

MarketsOur endless trudge through the city council’s farcically bent MARKETS SERVICE continues into another year …

Back in December, the authority’s ineffectual Internal Audit service dished up their FIFTH report in THREE YEARS about the service for the benefit of their gormless councillor overseers on the Audit Committee.

This time around, as well as the usual bland assurance that everything was improving, we got a wholesale REWRITING OF HISTORY. “An audit review of Markets operations was undertaken in November 2012,” they bluster.

And “Control weaknesses were particularly associated with two factors – the dominance of CASH COLLECTIONS, and utilisation of a dedicated and separate Markets ACCOUNTING SYSTEM which did not interface with the main finance system,” they blow.

An interesting theory … although unfortunately it’s total NONSENSE! Because the briefest glance at their audit opinion in 2012 says no such thing. It actually says that “a lack of urgency and willingness from MARKETS STAFF to quickly resolve all issues that were brought to their attention” was the problem.

Along with management’s FAILURE TO EXHIBIT OWNERSHIP of errors that contributed to the poor manual and electronic recording of financial and commercial transactions.”

In other words the problem was dodgy management and their criminally incompetent oversight of the service, especially its finances, not the “dominance of cash” or any technical issues with the accounting system.

The next paragraph of the latest report then blithely explains, “The Council’s debtors section is in the process of WRITING OFF HISTORICAL DEBT which is considered NON RECOVERABLE.”

In other words, money that simply disappeared without explanation due to the inexplicable actions of the OLD management is being quietly written off by the NEW management. Note also that the Internal Audit service have forgotten to tell us how much of our money is being written off.

In their last report they invented a so-say “DEBT“, apparently owed by no one, of £40k. Although the figure written into the council’s accounts in 2012 as “UNCOLLECTED LICENCE FEES” when they did their original investigation was as much as £165k.

So how much of our money have these clowns inexplicably lost and secretly written off? And why are they being so coy about it?

 

ASTROTURF AVONA IN ‘BIG SOCIETY’ SURVEY NONSENSE

AstroTurfii

Avonmouth fake ‘grassroots’ community organisation AVONA exposed in the December issue of the Bristolian has recently published the results of its ‘Community Survey’.

AVONA run by Ian “PULL MY STRINGS” Smith, the quisling puppet of George Ferguson, local Tory councillors and the Port Authority, mysteriously sprung up last year in the wake of the pollution scandals, community protests and law suits against the corporations that followed. Pro-business, pro-polluter AVONA is apparently being used by Ferguson as a ‘safe’ channel to funnel cash (and now it seems bullshit) into Avonmouth outside of the accountable Neighbourhood Partnership grants process.

It is reputed that AVONA requested funds from Ferguson in an invitation-only meeting in June last year to carry out a survey of local residents. Since then AVONA have refused to answer questions about how many people had actually responded to the questionnaire, but it seems it was pitiful; as one resident put it ‘no one gives a fuck about their organisation and no-one wants to be in it’.

Let’s take a look at what AVONA were asking residents in their (his?) survey:

Do you feel there is a need for a community bus in Avonmouth?  Yes or would like to know more: 80%
Would you be able to volunteer in running or maintaining a community bus service in Avonmouth? No: 78%

Hmmm, something fishy going on here….

Would you like to see the public toilets reopened in Avonmouth Village? Yes: 73%
Would you be happy to volunteer in the upkeep and hygiene of the public toilets? No: 80%

AVONA is having a laugh….now they want us to clean the bogs for free…

What support would encourage you to take part in learning activities? Free courses: 77%
Do you have a skill that could be shared with others in the community? Yes: 7% No or maybe: 88%

So we have to provide our own voluntary education whilst still paying our Council Tax?

How much of a police presence do you see in Avonmouth?
Never: 51% Monthly: 38% Weekly: 9% Daily: 2%

Many residents stated, ‘where are they?’, ‘what presence?’, ‘what police service? there is none’. Maybe AVONA wants us to set our own volunteer police force up?

And the big question….

What are things that negatively affect your health?
80% of residents responded: Pollution, dust, smoke, flies, smells, sewage, Sims Metal, Boomeco

And no follow up question to that in the AVONA survey, funnily enough…well maybe one…

Do you think massive cuts in public services are leading to ‘Big Society’ nonsense surveys? Yes: 100%

We rest our case.

LABOUR BUSH CONFUSION

Bush

The level of utter confusion in our local Labour Party was highlighted recently following the death over Christmas of the popular St George West Labour councillor, RON STONE.

Among many tributes paid to Ron was one from parents and friends fighting the closure of the BUSH RESIDENTIAL CENTRE in Knowle. This centre provides support and respite care to some of the most seriously ill and disabled children in the city and beds at the centre are currently being cut.

The Bush campaigners praised Ron for his unstinting support for their cause. Which is odd because the politician behind the closure is Ron’s Labour Party colleague and member of Mayor Fagin’s ridiculous ‘RAINBOW CABINET‘ of hapless nobodies, Barbara “YES GEORGE” Massey.

Massey is on record SUPPORTING the cuts to the Bush, claiming the money will provide more families with ‘short breaks’. Although she’s UNABLE to explain what service will be available – if any – to the desperately vulnerable kids losing their places at the Bush.

It’ll be interesting to see, then, how Labour’s misfiring mayoral candidate Marvin “LUTHER” Rees deals with this issue. Will he share old school socialist and trade unionist Ron’s view? Or will he side with his senior NEW LABOUR colleague, Massey, and opt to support the ‘MODERNISING‘ market solution for vulnerable kids?

Or maybe he’s got a THIRD WAY? Sit on the fence, say nothing and hope nobody notices that his party has two opposing views on the issue – one for brutal cuts to disabled children’s services; the other against brutal cuts to, er, disabled children’s services!

MEET TINY TIM MARVIN’S SPIN

Lezard

In an effort to boost his flagging campaign – drenched in tedious corporate jargon and uninspiring political correctness – Labour’s mayoral candidate, MARVIN “LUTHER” REES, has found himself a trade union PR and self-styled Corbynite – “TINY” Tim Lezard – to polish his hapless image.

Is this Marvin’s latest effort to get some electoral traction out on the suburban estates he needs to capture back from UKIP and apathy if he wants to defeat Ferguson’s overwhelming majority among Bristol West’s wealthy liberals?

But is Tiny Tim the man to deliver these estates? A Corbynite mired in the tired old politics and language of trade union bureaucrats? Is it what South Bristol’s crying out for?

GORDON’S WIKI FLOP

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Hapless former Lib Dem Director of Place Making at the council and wannabe media mogul, MIKE “GORDON” BENNETT – owner of the George Ferguson fanzine Bristol 24/7 – has been refused an entry in Wikipedia because he’s not important enough!

The discussion on Wikipedia of why Gordon was refused an entry in the online encyclopedia makes especially interesting reading. “Lots of references to show notability,” it says here. “However they are either false, dead or do not support the claims made. All articles possibly created by his staff,” it helpfully explains!

Oh dear. Perhaps Mayor Backscratch can sort out a local business award for Bennett’s ego instead?