Tag Archives: Bristol Liberal Democrats

HARTCLIFFE’S HOT AIR CENTRE

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Anyone got any idea what’s happened to the HARTCLIFFE RECYCLING CENTRE, the state-of-the-art recycling facility for south Bristol that could be located on a 5-acre site on Hartcliffe Way?

Politicians of every shade of useless have PROMISED the facility for years now. While the hot air expended on this non-existent facility, if captured, could generate imaginary plans for the city for the next hundred years.

This recycling centre was originally touted by the Lib Dems’ Gary “Fuckbucket” Hopkins in 2010 when he was the cabinet member responsible for waste. However, the centre has subsequently been promoted by Labour, Tories and Greens, including the Reverend Rees who PROMISED to build the place by 2018 in his first speech to Bristol City Council in May 2016.

The Lib Dems even got as far as agreeing, at cabinet meeting on 4 July 2012, to build the centre and allocated £2million for the task. Alas, Mayor No-more Ferguson arrived in autumn 2012 and put the project “ON HOLD” citing government cuts. Although Ferguson subsequently found MILLIONS to splurge on European Green Capital eco-tainment for the wealthy, such as dumping a load of festering tugboats in Leigh Woods to “challenge us to think about issues surrounding climate change”.

The Reverend, having personally put the recycling centre back on the agenda in 2016, appears to have done NOTHING about it since and he’s now set to miss his own 2018 deadline for the opening of the centre. Will it ever happen?

Perhaps Bristol Waste Managing Director, Tracey Morgan, who seems to take all the decisions in Bristol these days, has decided she doesn’t want a recycling centre in Hartcliffe?

SOUTH BRISTOL BIRDWATCH

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Marvin DodoClaims by birdwatchers in South Bristol that they’ve spotted a rare example of the LESSER TRUSTED REES in the Hartcliffe area have been debunked by experts.

“There were a couple of sightings of the Lesser Trusted Rees back in autumn 2012 in south Bristol,” explained our man at the RSPB, “but these were due to a seasonal appearance of a large flock of RED VOTE GRABBERS in the low lying Ashton Vale area, which the Rees can hide behind.

“South Bristol is not the Rees’s natural habitat. They tend to be intimidated by RED-TROUSERED ALBATROSSES in Bedminster/Southville and by resident COOTS in the Hartcliffe area. They much prefer the sunny uplands of the North and West of the city among  the Great Gentrifying Geese, Wealthy Plovers and Peecee Warblers.

“Since we’re not anticipating the reappearance of any Red Vote Grabbers until early spring, it’s unlikely a Lesser Trusted Rees would appear before that. Although, even then, we doubt any Reeses would venture as far south as Hartcliffe.”

The RSPB does anticipate a busy spring of other bird rarities in south Bristol, however. These may include a strong showing of Yellow Sitting Ducks, an annoying gaggle of Green Tits and the odd Tory Twat.

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

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abdul_1Mayor George is certainly racking up support among the city’s FAILED POLITICIANS. Joining the Greens’ Darren “BUGGER” Hall in supporting Mayor Crap for another term in 2016 is Lib Dem Abdul “Wannabe” Malik.

Malik was briefly a councillor in Easton 2005 – 2009 when he lobbied hard and FAILED to get nominated for the post of Lord Mayor. He then went on to LOSE a number of council elections in Easton before LOSING AGAIN in this year’s general election in Bristol East.

Malik has told the NAZI POST and Ferguson’s in-house website BRISTOL 24/7 (twice!), “as a businessman, I can see firsthand the benefits that the Mayor is bringing to Bristol.”

Well, it’s certainly nice to hear that wealthy local businessmen are benefiting from Mayor Backhanders’ regime even if disabled children in need of respite care aren’t.

The Lib Dems are now in the process of throwing this disloyal twat out of their party we understand.

THE BRISTOL BLOGGER’S ELECTION WATCH: COMMENTARY AND RESULTS

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Official election results are here

City Council Twitter feed is @BristolCouncil

BCC Live Webcast (from midnight) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaIwhm17tQs

10.00pm: Polls are closed!

From the Bone Blog:

AVONMOUTH LATEST: Steve Norman reports that he was able to flyer every house in the ward, turnout is up, and result expected between 12-3am.The result swill be a close call between local Tory turned ukip – SPUD MURPHY – and longtime Labour hatchet man John Bees…………both parties throwing waves of footsoldiers at it so Steve has a tough job.

10.40pm: more news on the city council election cock-up. Voters without polling cards were turned away from polling stations this morning as officers had not been supplied with full electoral registers. Wot a shambles. Can the Returning officer resign in the morning please?

10.50pm: ***BREAKING NEWS***

News emerging that City Director, Max Wide, is procuring an independent investigation into the conduct of fat boy Lib Dem Gary Hopkins. More news as we get it.

Hopkins has been spotted skulking around Knowle today with only Lib Dem loser “Steve “In A” Comer for company. No Lib Dem, including fellow ward councillor Chris Davies, will go near him!

11.05pm: Tory MP Charlotte Bacardi has been running around Avonmouth like a blue arsed fly (one of about a million currently in the area) trying to prop up her failing Green supporting candidate, Matt Melia from the “Norman Effect” and UKIP.

11.20pm: UKIP CRAP: polling 30% in results in Labour Sunderland. Rumoured to have won 2 seats in Woking.

11.35pm: BBC reporting national turnout at low to mid 30 per cent. The can’t be arsed win again.

11.50: Lib Dems on 3% down 15% in Sunderland. Ha, ha, ha wankers! May have to adjust my Bristol predictions …

12.15am: They’ve been describing Swindon as “very interesting” on the BBC!

Twitter gossip suggests UKIP could win in Brislington East!

Our so-called rival, Bristol 24/7, suggests we might get a result by 1.30am. So plenty of time for BCC to screw up yet …

 12.40am: consensus apart from Labour supporters is that Labour are having an underwhelming evening. It’s all about UKIP.

12.45am: Bristol NW MP Charlotte Bacardi is at the count and exhibiting reading skills as she helps with the Avonmouth count. Presumably hers is a specific dyslexia relating to the completion of political donation forms only?

Steve Norman and entourage have been at the count over half an hour and haven”t decked anyone. This is a victory.

01.00am: Counting underway in Bristol. UKIP may take Hengrove! It’s Lab vs UKIP in Avonmouth. UKIP doing ‘OK’ in Kingsweston but possibly not good enough to win …

01.05am: Bristol West Lib Dem MP Stephen Williams and his entourage “look like the fucking Addams Family”. Their night is likely to be even more horrifying – ‘The Lib Dem Chainsaw Massacre’?

01.15am: results coming in from Birmingham. Bristol still dicking about.

01.20: Switch in Avonmouth. It looks like Tory vs UKIP. Labour’s “Bumbling” Bees “looks well pissed off”. Good.

01.30: Bristol 24/7 reports Tim Kent “may be safe”. Lid Dem meltdown not happening in Bristol. Shit, we’re a wishy-washy Lib Dem city aren’t we?

01.55: Our congenitally useless council appears unable to count ballot papers.

ITV are reporting, “there are precisely 24 tables and none are counting”!

02.00: Avonmouth, Brilington East and Hengrove “look good” for UKIP. This looks like aminor Bristolian political earthquake. Time for the left to rethink?

02.20: Bristol City Council has just confirmed “all the postal votes are in the building”. That’s the postal votes thst had to travel 2 miles from the Council House to the City Academy. It’s a shambles.

02.50: Result imminent?

03.00: that fucking gormless returning officer is blaming “technical problems in the counting of postal votes for delays”.

THE BRISTOL BLOGGER’S ELECTION WATCH: INTRO

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Right. Here’s my election intro’. Apologies for any errors but I can’t be arsed with doing too much research so I’ve just cobbled this together from the list of candidates and relied on my general knowledge. Please post any corrections to the comments.

I’ve no idea about majorities, swings and all the statistical stuff because it’s too boring for words and I really can’t be bothered to look it all up. Anyway, hopefully Paul Smith will pop along to bore us with all that stuff as the night proceeds …

My generalised predictions are: a good night for Labour; a disaster for the Lib Dems; a couple of seats for the Greens and – percentage wise – a good night for UKIP but probably no councillors. My dodgy ward predictions are below.

The wards to watch:

Avonmouth: a three way marginal between UKIP, Labour and the Tories. Plus it has the added ingredient of Steve “The Voice” Norman running as an independent. Steve’s unlikely to win but he may pull enough votes to affect the outcome. If Merchant Venturer apologist and all-round sell-out, Labour’s John Bees loses then Steve will consider it a victory and be back for more in 2016. I’ll call this for the Green voting Tory candidate, Matthew Melia.

Kingsweston: Experienced campaigner Terry Thomas running for UKIP. If they’re going to win anywhere it will be here. The other frontrunners are Tim Leaman (Lib) and Mike Thorne (Lab). Labour to win?

Southville: Greens are desperate to hold this and have brought back Charlie Bolton to fight it. Presumably Charlie wants in so that he can take up full time fagging duties at the Counts Louse for his public school friend, Mayor Fergo? Labour’s Celia Phipps is an entirely superfluous NHS middle manager. UKIP are running too. Green hold.

Knowle: Lib Dem fat tosser Gary Hopkins’ ward. He’s got to overcome a massive national swing and a considerable wave of personal hatred towards him in the ward to hang on. Seems unlikely so they’ll be champagne corks popping in Knowle tonight when Labour’s Chris Orlik romps home. UKIP are running.

Bishopston: Green target seat. They’re up against the Labour Party’s bullying social worker boss Eileen “Meanie” Means. So let’s all cheer her demise. Green gain.

Whitchurch Park: Lib Dem boss, Tim Kent’s patch. Under serious threat from a massive national swing against Lib Dems and local indifference. Up against a middle class gal from Bishopston, Alice Bouquet,  just off the Labour Party’s machine politician production line. For some reason they think student politics is the way forward for a working class south Bristol ward. Whoever wins, we all lose. UKIP are running here too. Labour gain.

Redland: Independents for Bristol number one target despite the oddity Stella Perrett being their candidate. Perrett is an old Lib Dem and a former associate of Lib Dem paedo councillor John Astley and so is an odd choice for candidate. The Greens fancy this ward as they desperately triangulate ever further towards the Lib Dems (even down to having bent councillors) and the Lib Dems probably think they can hold on too. This is a test of the Lib Dem vote in their heartlands and will be a useful guide to Bristol West in the General Election next year. I’ve personally no idea who will win but I’ll say Lib Dem Hold.

And the others:

Bedminster: Labour cabinet member Mark Bradshaw’s backyard. He should hold easily.

Bishopsworth: Solid Conservative ward. IfB have local Jon Craig running. Labour gobshite Kye Dudd is running too but will come nowhere; Tory Kevin Quartley will hold.

Brislington East: Mike Wollacott for Labour will hold. UKIP running.

Brislington West: Lib Dem Peter Main has held the seat for years. Is it finally over? UKIP running. Labour unknown Rhian Greaves also running. Lib Dem hold.

Filwood: Labour’s Chris Jackson will hold this easily.

Hartcliffe: Mildly interesting as sitting Labour councillor Derek “Wanker” Pickup was deselected in favour of the youthful Naomi Rylatt. Rylatt is at least from south Bristol rather than imported from Bristol West to bore us all to death with student equalities bullshit. Labour hold.

Henbury: Labour hold for Rosalie Walker. The ward is actually held by Tory idiot Mark Weston, the former chair of the useless audit committee. He personally oversaw the disappearance of hundreds of thousands of pounds and the bullying of whistleblowers trying to expose this. Deserves to lose. Labour gain.

Hengrove: This is between Lib Dem councillor Sylvia Doubell and Labour challenger Yvonne Clapp. UKIP are running. Labour gain?

Henleaze: Lib Dem Clare Campion-Smith should hold this. Another Lib Dem heartland seat. If they lose this then Bristol West MP Stephen Williams is in trouble. UKIP are running.

Horfield: Formerly a solid Lib Dem seat. Can Chery Ann hold on to this Bristol West Lib Dem heartland seat? I haven’t got a clue. UKIP running. Lib Dem hold.

Lockleaze: Lib Dem Sean Emmett is doomed. Gill Kirk for Labour will win this. UKIP running.

Southmead: Jenny Smith, who appeared senile when I met her about 20 years ago, remains the Labour candidate and she will win. UKIP running and it will be interesting to see how they get on.

St George West: Labour’s Peter Hammond’s seat. The fact he’s been living in Manchester for at least 6 months while claiming councillor expenses seems to have passed everyone by. IfB have a candidate – Jane Westhead. Labour without Hammond will hold.

Stockwood: David Morris will hold this for the Tories

Stoke Bishop: Tory John Goulandris will hold. UKIP running.

Westbury: Tory Alastair Watson will hold. UKIP running.

Windmill Hill: Lib Dem Andrew Brown is taking over a big majority from retiring old fart Alf Havock. The hugely entertainingly named Sam Mongon is running for Labour. UKIP running too. Lib Dem hold.

And finally, with the highly public sacking and humiliation of Returning Officer and Chief Solicitor, Stephen “Lycra” McNamara last year for a general level of unbelievable incompetence, we have a new, untried Returning Officer, “God” Zilah Morris. It will be interesting to see if she can continue Lycra’s grand tradition of lost ballots, lost ballot boxes, late counts, creative arithmetic and all-round cock-up.

Early signs are promising as we’ve already had reports of polling stations with incomplete and missing electoral registers.

That should help prevent any fraud! Ho, ho!