“This issue sponsored by the Cinderford Revolutionary Cats Collective – they take no prisoners.”
News drifts in from Lockleaze that Theresa Allain, the new Regional Office imposed Labour candidate for the ward, one of the most deprived in Bristol, lives in Bristol West!
Her upmarket period home in leafy BS6, just a stone’s throw from Redland Station has an estimated value of £1,402,000.
Who says champagne socialism is dead?
Reports emerge of more Labour Party madness in the lead-up to Christmas as apparatchiks from the party’s South West regional office turned their attention to the Bristol East Constituency Party. And the party bureaucrats are now so keen on purges that although the chair and secretary in Bristol East had resisted a Corbyn-supporting motion passed by their membership earlier this month, they got purged anyway!
This means that the elected leaderships of Bristol’s North West, West and East Consituency Parties have all been suspended without explanation by their party. Nationwide, 40 more CLP officers were similarly removed during the week before Christmas.
In Bristol North West, now managed by Councillor Brenda Massey, who’s previous career high was quietly decorating George Ferguson’s useless rainbow Cabinet, and the South West Regional Office, requests to hold a constituency party meeting have been directly refused by the regional apparatchiks. They insist the next constituency meeting will be an AGM to elect new officers some time next year at a time they decide.
Looks like an interesting year ahead in Labour politics …
Has there been an anti-democratic RIGHT WING COUP in the Bristol North West Constituency Labour Party, home of ambitious Blairite “Dipshit” Darren Jones MP?
It sure as fuck looks that way as the Chair and Secretary of his branch have been mysteriously PURGED and “DISAPPEARED” by Jones and Labour South West Regional Office bureaucrats. This followed an overwhelming popular vote (58-19) at a meeting of the constituency Party last month in favour of a mildly supportive motion of former leader Jeremy Corbyn and questioning his suspension from the Labour Party.
Bemused Labour Party members in Bristol North West have received no explanation about what’s happened to their Chair and Secretary. Instead they’ve received a cursory note informing them that they CAN’T HOLD MEETINGS FOR TWO MONTHS and that Labour Councillor for Southmead Brenda “Beria” Massey, a hardcore Stalinist and Dipshit Daz groupie, has either been appointed by Regional Office orr else she has appointed herself “Acting Chair” of the constituency Party and then has unconstitutionally SUSPENDED THE ENTIRE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE until further notice.
ENTER NAPOLEON IN DRAG
Requests that the upright-standing pigs Dipshit, Beria or the Regional Office bureaucrats explain what’s happened to the elected Chair and Secretary and how Commissar Massey was able take over a constituency party and obtain the member information database have so far been REBUFFED..
Instead, members have been told by Beria Massey that she will be holding an AGM “as soon as party rules allow”. This is unlikely to be until LATE FEBRUARY. Although the Great Leader Sir Keir “Bell-End” Starmer’s Bristol NW chief of secret police does not seem to be able to quote the Party rules concerned when asked for them.
Dipshit, meanwhile, has infomed Party members that it’s “NOT FAIR” to ask his Acting Chair what the hell is going on and announced, “I have been asked to host an MP’s [Zoom] Q&A in place of the [constitutional] December meeting of the CLP”. Who asked Sub-Commissar Dipshit to host this event is not clear. Did the move originate in Regional Office or in Bell-End Starmer’s Central Politburo itself?
PAT BALL OR PAINT BALL?
Rumours are now filtering out as this goes to press that certain “known” Labour members were not even permitted access to Dipshit’s Zoom meeting. And of course, Jones answering a few PAT BALL questions from a selective audienceof former Tories from Westbury-on-Trym is no replacement for a Constituency Labour Party meeting, where he’d likely get a volley of PAINT BALL questions.
In Bristol NW these recently elevated upright-pigs insist that they remain “in charge” – in contravention of all discernible LP rules and procedures.
What a fucking shit way to run a so-called democratic party
Victory for Labour in all four Bristol wards at the general election – alongside bad defeats in South Gloucester target wards Filton and Bradley Stoke and Kingswood – just about managed to PAPER OVER THE CRACKS emerging along CLASS LINES in Bristol. A closer look at Labour’s victorious results reveals A DIVIDE emerging between WEALTHY INNER CITY WARDS now occupied and gentrified by the middle classes and the city’s neglected WORKING CLASS SUBURBS.
Could Labour’s historic coalition between organised labour and the progressive middle classes be falling apart in Bristol? For example, in South Bristol, Labour romped home in Southville, Windmill Hill and Bedminster grabbing TWO THIRDS OF THE VOTE. However, in the working class wards of Filwood, Hartcliffe and Withywood and Hengrove and Whitchurch Park Labour reputedly TRAILED IN BEHIND THE TORIES.
This pattern was somewhat repeated in Bristol North West where Darren “Dipshit” Jones LOST BADLY in working class Avonmouth and Lawrence Weston while he RACKED UP VOTES in middle class Westbury-on-Trym, Stoke Bishop and Henleaze. However Dipshit can point to some glimmers of light in that ultra-Corbynite stronghold Lockleaze remained unfaithful to him as did key working class estate Southmead.
Another story altogether unfolded in Bristol West, however, where working class communities with a larger mix of immigrant and black voters in wards such as Easton, Eastville, Hilllfields and Lawrence Hill, stayed with Labour to deliver Thangam Debbonaire a THUMPING MAJORITY – the largest of any Bristol MP – to continue her vendetta against the left wing of her party.
What all this means for the future and for Bristol is open to interpretation. Especially as many people who voted Labour at the general election are telling us that they only LENT THEM A VOTE to keep the Tories out and they’ll VOTE DIFFERENTLY at next year’s local elections.
All to play for in the mayoral elections in 2020, then. (306)
Bristol’s Labour MPs have reportedly been overjoyed at their Party’s defeat in December’s General Election.
“I have been euphoric,” said Bristol North West MP Darren ‘Dipshit’ Jones, “Corbyn and his fantasy of a fairer, more equal society is over. And I kept my job! It was my best Christmas for years,” added the Tony Blair fanboy.
Smiling from ear to ear, Bristol East MP Kerry McCarthy agreed … “It was a very Merry Christmas. Labour’s annihilation was wonderful. We have been desperate to get rid of Corbyn for years. Unfortunately, despite the best efforts of ourselves, the media and the entire Establishment he was still hugely popular with the members and the general public. We couldn’t budge him and we were desperate.
“Then, last year, (Deputy Leader) Tom Watson explained to me that Aleister Campbell and Peter Mandelson had a brilliant plan. We were to force Corbyn to back a second EU referendum against his wishes. This would then guarantee that we lost millions of working class voters and would be obliterated at the next General Election. We could then blame it on Corbyn!
“It was a brilliant plan, pure genius … And it worked like clockwork! The prospect for democratic change is now well and truly over,” she laughed.
Elsewhere, in Kingswood, Tory MP Chris Skidmore celebrated another victory … “I see this as a complete mandate,” he said. “When I return to Parliament in the new year I am going to give it my all. I will once again devote every ounce of my energy to knocking seven shades of shit out of the poor, the sick and the disabled. As for those idle British workers, those c#*ts are gonna get it with both barrels.”
“I’m gonna kick the living f#cking crap out of them, I swear on my life.”
Have the stroppy TRIGGER BALLOTS going off all over the place to see if our local Labour MPs should face a selection contest created a CHAIN REACTION in the fabric of the city’s time-space continuum? How else to explain a MYSTERIOUS LOST WORLD that has been discovered in Bristol by the Labour Party’s Regional Office?
Unscientific reports say the newly discovered land is in BISHOPSTON AND ASHLEY DOWN in the Bristol West constituency. However, due to some sort of unexplained Schrodinger’s cat-type time-space quantum field, it “is NOT PART OF BISHOPSTON AND ASHLEY DOWN” and is actually somewhere else entirely in Bristol North West, the constituency of under-threat honorary Lib Dem MP, “Dipshit” Darren Jones.
Even more remarkably, A LOST TRIBE OF 20 MYSTERIOUS LABOUR PARTY MEMBERS are alive and well in this impossible new land and were able to vote as their own branch to decide whether Dipshit should be put up for reselection as a Labour candidate.
Have you noticed any mysterious time-space displacement phenomena in your area recently? Maybe flying discs in the sky or portals to Bristol North West? Has the Labour Party discovered a lost world and set up a quantum branch near you?
Having openly solicited donations from the wealthy of his Bristol North West constituency for an “independent election fund”, turncoat MP and Macronist moron, Darren “Dipshit” Jones, has launched a remarkable attack on his own constituency’s Labour Party members.
Dipshit denies any wrongdoing, despite breaking Labour party rules, and instead claims that his members that rightly brought his disreputable conduct to public attention are “trolls”and “bullies” peddling “fake news”.
Nowt fake about it Dipshit. You’re trying to set up an independent election fund from your publicly funded Labour office and your members ain’t happy.
For godssakes resign man. The Lib Dems and obscurity await …
From: Darren Jones MP <email@example.com>
Sent: Sunday, 16 December 2018, 15:44:29 GMT
Subject: Leaving the Labour Party?
Dear Member / Supporter,
Friends of Darren Jones
A supporters network has recently been set up called “Friends of Darren Jones”.
Established off the back of some local residents who wanted to support my work as their local MP, but who didn’t want to join the Labour Party, this informal group is essentially a list of local supporters (who can, if they wish, donate to my campaigning costs as the local MP).We only win marginal seats like Bristol North West when we persuade people who might not always vote Labour to do so. I therefore welcome their support.
Some of our fellow Labour Party members are using their own political motivations to undermine the work that I do on behalf of our party and for my constituents.
This is because that significant minority of members have made it clear that they would rather I wasn’t our Labour Member of Parliament here in Bristol North West.
They have therefore turned what is a good news story about winning the support of residents who don’t normally vote Labour into a fake news story that I have decided to leave the Labour Party to become an Independent.
I don’t normally respond to trolls, but I know that this rumour has worried some of you who I have campaigned with shoulder-to-shoulder over many years.
As you all know, I have been a member of the Labour Party my entire adult life and a dedicated Labour Party campaigner continuously at each and every election for over a decade.
So let me be clear: I’m not going anywhere.
I respect the rights of members to decide who to have as our Parliamentary Candidate and – with good fortune – as our local Labour MP.
And if local members wish to trigger a re-selection process when that process starts I can confirm that I will put myself forward once again and campaign to win your support in order that we win the next General Election.
We don’t welcome bullies
At a time when these few members are trying to bully elected local party leaders, councillors and MPs out of office, I want to make it loud and clear that that behaviour is not welcome in our party.
As your Labour Member of Parliament I am a leader of our local party and the public face of it in our area. I won’t just stand by and not call out bullying when I see it.
I know that the vast majority of you reading this are loyal, dedicated and positive members of our movement. I ask that, together, we call out the trolling and the arm chair bullying for what it is and focus once again on seeking to change the country for the many.
I remain committed to that cause and, with your support, we can carry on helping local residents in Bristol North West and contributing to changing the country too.If you do have any further questions, please just reply to this e-mail and I’ll come back to you.
Yours as ever
Darren Jones MP
Labour Member of Parliament, Bristol North West
Labour Party members in Bristol North West are FURIOUS with a leaflet their moron MP, Darren “Dipshit” Jones, distributed in Henleaze and Westbury on Trym recently.
Apparently coming from “FRIENDS OF DARREN“, not the party that selected him, the leaflet ditched Labour’s usual red branding and logos for some fetching GREEN branding instead. Dipshit then informed readers he supported the so-called ‘People’s Vote’, a second referendum on Brexit, an, er, Lib Dem policy – and invited people to donate to his “INDEPENDENT ELECTION FUND“.
The leaflet went on to say, “For those of us who support Darren but don’t want to donate to the LABOUR PARTY, we can now donate to his Independent Re-election Fund. Donations will be held independently by Darren and all donations are welcome.”
These leaflets were targeted and distributed in Henleaze and Westbury-on-Trym. Apparently solely for the benefit of the local Waitrose crew as not a trace of these leaflets can be found in the WORKING CLASS AREAS of Dipshit’s patch such as Avonmouth, Southmead and Lockleaze.
What’s going on here then? Is this a middle class coup in Bristol North West? Members have been expelled from the Labour Party for far less …
The Avonmouth night was dark and moist and a pall of heavy smoke hung in the air at the agile office space of Dipshit and Dudd Investigations Inc. The only sound was the smug hum of overpriced Apple products bought on expenses and an old overhead fan that was failing to clear the air. This fug, however, wasn’t from cigarettes but from the burning of principles and campaign promises.
The unlikely duo sat in their office waiting for the iPhone XS to ring. Dipshit Darren Jones MP was attempting to straighten his hair with a clothes press while updating his homework log for a remedial Access to Technology course at the local poly. Kye Dudd, Cabinet Member for Waste, began to annoy the local cats with a saxophone rendition of Careless Whisper(s) in preparation for a performance at the upcoming Southville Sourdough, Stilt and Yogurt Weaving Festival for Corbyn.
Dipshit: How the fuck am I going to explain it to the electorate Dudd?
Dudd: What are you rambling on about now you twizzle haired fucktrumpet?
Dipshit: Charming! No need to have a pop at me buddy, you’re the one who went there and met the idiots.
Dudd: I had no choice. They were bullying me on social media and pointing out that I wasn’t doing what I am employed to do. I mean fuck ’em and all that but they were making me look bad. This could impact on my chances of getting the Reverend to erect a lifesize statue of me for services to Corbynism at the new spaceport transit hub in the Bearpit.
Dipshit: You look bad? You’re not the one who stood up and denied there was a problem when there clearly was.
Dudd: Oh fuck off, you git. How much more do you trouser each month than me? You got the motherlode, £77k plus expenses. How many greased hamsters can you get for that?
Dipshit: Well they got an FOI in that promises to expose me for covering up the problem. It’s due soon. I’ve got the local rag onside so they won’t cover it but there are others that might.
Dudd: Who? Tell me and I’ll make sure they never talk again. I got mates you know.
Dipshit: Fuck off you wanker. Your mates? That’s Don Alexander and his shitty copy of the Old Testament isn’t it? I think I can handle it. My associates have a common purpose and the Rev’s into it up to his neck. He’ll ensure the media paint us in a good light..
Dudd: Who are these twats anyway? They claim to live in the parish?
Dipshit: A bunch of boghoppers who scratch a crust off the tip at Avonmouth.
Dudd: Ah that’s fine then. Thought they might be important. Is that even in the parish?
Dipshit: Allegedly, yes. We get taxes off them but in reality it belongs to our friends the Bellringers. They bought it for £1 and a dodgy pie from the clown prince a couple of years ago.
Dudd.. Phew, fuck ’em all then.
Dudd picks up his sax and Daz scratches his head and frowns at his confusing homework log.