Between the wars …
THAT BRAGG/REES DUET IN FULL
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Category Archives: Yewmah
THAT TRISTRAM HUNT MAYORAL CAMPAIGN VISIT IN FULL
THAT MARVIN REES MAYORAL CAMPAIGN LAUNCH IN FULL …
LEGAL NEWS aka Dean Blake’s ‘Crisis PR management’ update
Our man who bothers to pay attention to media law draws our attention to this story on the BBC:
Parody copyright laws set to come into effect
What it basically says is that a European Copyright Directive now allows the use of copyright material for parody so long as it is fair and does not compete with the original version.
And here is that amendment in English law:
And what this means is that if Cabot Learning Federation wish to take action against us in regards to their alleged copyright of this image …
… Then they’re going to have to take us to court and persuade the judge it isn’t funny!
What a day in court that will be. Book your seats now!
SOUTH BRISTOL BIRDWATCH
Claims by birdwatchers in South Bristol that they’ve spotted a rare example of the LESSER TRUSTED REES in the Hartcliffe area have been debunked by experts.
“There were a couple of sightings of the Lesser Trusted Rees back in autumn 2012 in south Bristol,” explained our man at the RSPB, “but these were due to a seasonal appearance of a large flock of RED VOTE GRABBERS in the low lying Ashton Vale area, which the Rees can hide behind.
“South Bristol is not the Rees’s natural habitat. They tend to be intimidated by RED-TROUSERED ALBATROSSES in Bedminster/Southville and by resident COOTS in the Hartcliffe area. They much prefer the sunny uplands of the North and West of the city among the Great Gentrifying Geese, Wealthy Plovers and Peecee Warblers.
“Since we’re not anticipating the reappearance of any Red Vote Grabbers until early spring, it’s unlikely a Lesser Trusted Rees would appear before that. Although, even then, we doubt any Reeses would venture as far south as Hartcliffe.”
The RSPB does anticipate a busy spring of other bird rarities in south Bristol, however. These may include a strong showing of Yellow Sitting Ducks, an annoying gaggle of Green Tits and the odd Tory Twat.
NO GOAT SEX PLEASE, I’M BARKING
Mayor “Uncle” Fergo’s got in early on the August media silly season.
A mountain goat – there’s no evidence Uncle George has ever had sex with one of these although we think he may have one doing his PR.
While whinging on the pages of the Nazi Post yesterday, the public relations genius randomly decided to deny he’s got any “unsavoury sexual preferences”!
How nice of everyone’s favourite kindly uncle to share that with us. But why? We’ve searched hard to find references anywhere to Uncle Fergo and “unsavoury sexual preferences” and have come up with nothing (aside from that story knocking around the internet about Uncle Fergo, Mike Norton, the viagra, the stainless steel funnel and the gerbils, which is definitely not true).
But why would anyone publish a denial in their local newspaper of something they’ve never been accused of?
Still, it’s very hot out there and he’s very old. Perhaps Uncle Fergo needs a lie-down (just not anywhere near a student hall with that large cactus and the antique bullwhip collection again please).
Know of any “unsavoury sexual preferences” that are nothing to do with Uncle Fergo? Why not tell us about them below?
****STOP PRESS****
In a desperate effort to shore up Uncle Fergo’s collapsing reputation and the attendant embarrassment to our city, Nazi Post nobody, Steve Mellen “Kim”, today asks why do so many people have it in for Bristol mayor George Ferguson?
Here at The BRISTOLIAN we think we may have the answer to that – is it because he’s a premier league arsehole?
DOWNFALL: GEORGE FERGUSON
LADY GAGA PORTRAIT JOY
The BRISTOLIAN can EXCLUSIVELY unveil Bristol City Council’s new official portrait of City Director Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates, created by local artist and Twitter enthusiast @guriben.
The portrait of the city’s wealthy first lady of local government will accompany all official Bristol City Council announcements and publications by Lady Gaga from Monday and it will also appear on a range of Conservative general election material from next year.
MAYOR FERGO told The BRISTOLIAN, “The portrait is magnificent. It perfectly encapsulates Nicola, her character, intellect and not insubstantial beauty. Well done to Guriben and I look forward to an interpretation of me.”
“Nicola Yates will be responsible for the delivery of the Mayor and council’s vision,” says £160k Nicola Yates with tongue firmly in cheek
Lady Gaga has been described as “satisfied” with her official portrait and is said to be keen to see the painting displayed in the City Museum and Art Gallery where she may fit in nicely alongside some of Bristol’s other famous Conservative political figures like the slave trader EDWARD COLSTON and that old reactionary EDMUND BURKE.
The BRISTOLIAN will be commissioning further portraits from Guriben soon for some of our favourite local government officers such as country boy solicitor LIAM ‘MALFOY’ NEVIN, the less than magical new chief legal officer; ANGIE ‘PAIDWELL’ RIDGWELL, the generously remunerated chief bean counter and a farewell portrait of PR man for himself, PETER ‘CLAUDIA-JEAN’ HOLT.
Have you painted a portrait of your favourite local government officer or councillor? Why not send it in?
The best artistic rendering of GARY HOPKINS will win a prize…
FERGO FINDS HIS TIPPING POINT?
Have a great weekend, readers – we shall be back again on Monday with the latest high & mighty-smiting…
And don’t forget – if you’ve got a story about bent bosses, incompetent councillors, corrupt cops or other such idiots spoiling our city, get in touch!
