Tag Archives: Bristol Evening Post

HOT MESS PRESS

Our local press in their own words:

‘How does local media serve local politics in Bristol?’ enquires “Meejah” Max Thrower, recently appointed political assistant to the Green councillor group. It’s the title, that’s just hit our newsdesk, of his recent dissertation for an MA in Political Communications from Goldsmiths College, London, a hotbed of fashionable post-modern drivel.

The first twenty pages of the forty-page effort are therefore inconsequential academic gobbledegook that even Goldsmiths’ tutors probably skipped reading judging by the amount of uncorrected typos twisting any vague bit of meaning in there.

The second section is where the action is. Featuring interviews with self-styled local experts like Bristol Cobblers’ (surely Cable? Ed) part-timer Neil “Professional Bristolian” Maggs; the Nazi Post’s Tristan “Gruppenführer” Cork; Martin “Latte” Booth, Editor, Bristol 24/7; Alex “All At” Seabrook, a BBC Local Democracy Reporter (LDR) working out of the Post and Cobbler’s not-editor “Door” Matty Edwards. Also along for the ride were The Bristolian, the Greens’ Carla “Head Girl” Denyer plus a rare appearance from mayoral bag carrier “Slo” Kev Slocombe.

After a risible quote from the Press Gazette claiming these indistinguishable liberal left centrists of our local press have created “a media oasis“ in Bristol, it’s not long before our media stars are fighting like rats in a sack. “The issue of funding models and the supposed influence of corporate interests has created tension between media outlets,” and, “the tension between outlets was most apparent between The Bristol Cable and Bristol 24/7 and the way that people viewed their funding,” we’re told.

“According to Neil [“Professional Bristolian”, Cobblers], Bristol 24/7 received money from a tobacco company that they used to fund a community reporter scheme. Martin [“Latte”, 24/7] described this advertising as a ‘necessary evil” and would love to see them not accept any advertising.”

“The incident was called out by The Bristol Cable, who Tristan [“Gruppenführer”, Nazi Post], cheerily pointed out “get most of their money from philanthropic billionaires”.

“According to Martin [“Latte”, 24/7], The Cable’s grants allow them to “loudly criticize us [Bristol 24/7] for daring to accept advertising”.

And on it goes: “People were also critical of Bristol 24/7, with Tristan saying that they “get their money from… a handful of rich people in Bristol”. [“Slo”] Kev believed that financial loss means they must be “bankrolled by a group of businessmen” that run bars and restaurants. Tristan noted that Bristol 24/7 have been called out in the past for “writing favourable things to do with pubs in Easton”.”

Adding to a sense of dodgy money washing around our gormless local press: “Martin [“Latte”] stated that Bristol 24/7 is a community interest company, although he didn’t know the details and liked “to just get on with the journalism side of things”.”

Neil [“Professional Bristolian”, Cobblers] then calls out his Cobbler’s colleagues as “Marxist in their origins and… a bit pompous and self-righteous with that at times”. Surely more to do with being middle class twats than anything to do with Marxism? Or is this Goldsmiths College style Marxism we’re talking here?

Rounding off a thoroughly undignified episode, Local Democracy Reporter Alex “All At” Seabrook – Marxist proclivities unknown – revealed that the thought of going out and speaking with actual Bristolians rather than communicating with middle class people on Twitter was “horrifying”.

But last word to “Slo” Kev Slocombe (who should be a Marxist) hitting nails on heads: “[The Cable is] a vanity organization driven by mysterious tech money,” he explained.

In future, do look out for the local press complaining about politicians “squabbling”!

The dissertation’s solution to this local press hot mess is the completely shit idea of state funded media for Bristol. Probably the fastest route to creating the most dull ,unreadable crap imaginable. Censoriously micro-managed by some hideous unelected committee of wealthy establishment tosspots with a Merchant Venturer in the chair.

They will definitely not be Marxists.

Wanna read ‘How does local media serve local politics in Bristol‘? Drop us a line at bristoliannews@gmail.com and we’ll send you a copy.

Gotta a dissertation about Bristol? Send us a copy and we’ll give you the feedback your academic tutors won’t!

SEND PARENT SPYING: DID THE COUNCIL LIE TO THE PRESS?

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Yesterday, the Nazi Post and others ran with our story about the council spying on SEND parents. Naturally, Bristol City Council had a totally bizarre explanation for their actions.

An unnamed spokesperson from the council’s External Communications team – who are at the heart of the scandal after covertly collecting parents’ sensitive personal data from the internet and distributing it to Council House managers – explained:

“At the request of the Bristol Parents Carer Forum, we reviewed our own social media and passed onto the forum information relating to claims made about SEND services which included comments left by members. The forum had specifically requested this information to conduct an internal investigation into the conduct of some of its members.”

This is a bizarre excuse, which seems to be saying that a small, local voluntary group made the council do it. It also fails to address public concern that the council acted unlawfully in terms of data protection law (GDPR) and in terms of tight legislation around covert investigations by the state (RIPA).

It now appears the council statement was also a total lie. The Bristol Parent Carer Forum this morning issued the following statement:

This is a pretty categorical statement that the forum did not ask the council to collect data about parents. What have the council got to say now? What’s gonna be their next excuse for their unlawful conduct?

This story is set to run and run …

NAZI POST FUHRER’S SNOWFLAKE SHAME

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In a bizarre outburst of WHITE LIBERAL GUILT, Nazi Post editor and reformed tinpot Tory, Mike “News Bunny” Norton, has apologised to his readers for publishing a large front page photo of the Reverend Rees that didn’t depict the glorious leader in a pose that his supporters felt made him LOOK IMPORTANT ENOUGH!

A highly enthusiastic front page splash with the headline “I’LL PAVE THE WAY FOR THE FUTURE” appeared the day after the Reverend’s UNDERPOWERED ‘State of the City’ speech last month. A speech widely received in the city – outside the pages of News Bunny’s DELUDED PUBLICATION – as yet another wholesale departure from lived reality by the Reverend and his team of clueless acolytes.

However, News Bunny’s cheerleading splash didn’t reflect THE VANITY OF THE REVEREND or his efforts to create a cult of personality in the way the city’s woke race relations industry now demand. One of them, Tracie Joliffe, an obscure NHS middle manager, BLASTED News Bunny on Twitter, “Was it a deliberate strategy to portray an image of the Mayor @MarvinJRees like a criminal mug shot?”

The nutty complaint was then taken up by Sandra Gordon from the Reverend’s official Commission for Racial Equality talking shop. She THUNDERED, “the picture of Marvin published does not portray our city leader in a pose that reflects this article – he was delivering a critically important speech to a packed audience in the imposing Wills Memorial Building.”

News Bunny immediately switched to PANIC MODE over this harmless front page close-up pic of the Reverend – which looked nothing like a “criminal mugshot” – even comparing it to the notorious ‘FACES OF EVIL’ Nazi Post front page of 1997, and published a FAWNING APOLOGY to bemused readers.

“It was not appropriate,” wailed the city’s latest ESTABLISHMENT SNOWFLAKE, “It didn’t give Bristol Post’s readership the right message about Marvin’s position in the city and about the importance of his role or of this address.”

Indeed not. The right message would require a photo of Rees with his head up his arse.

GAGA GOES A-GAGGING

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News of former city council Chief Exec, Nicola “Lady Gaga” Yates’s ridiculous £196k pay-off for failure from the Rev Mayor Rees recently appeared in the Nazi Post accompanied by some commentary from local rent-a-quote Tory buffoon Richard “BUNTER” Eddy.

Alas, this public revelation of her OPEN TROUGHING at the direct expense of the Bristolian public hasn’t gone down too well with Gaga. So she’s got some Liverpool-based self-styled leftie lawyer firebrands Messrs Bootfill and Carpetbag (surely EAD SOLICITORS, ed) – who describe themselves as “proud to support Trade Unions” and er, “greedy bastard former public sector executives”, it seems – to threaten Bunter with LIBEL.

To his credit, Bunter has basically told Gaga and her crappy little legal firm of five star hypocrites to FUCK OFF and take up any libel matters directly with the Post who actually published the information.

It’ll be interesting to see, then, whether Gaga and her FLAT TRACK BULLY employment law experts take up Bunter’s suggestion they sue the Post for libel. Or are they just a bunch of bluffers prepared to prey on the weak, the scared and the ignorant?

Watch this space …

ps. any scouse legal firm specialising in employment law (and pretending to be left wing to drum up business from the gullible) that wish to threaten us with libel can send piss weak threats to us at: thebristolianATgooglemail.com in the first instance. A reply is assured!

AVONMOUTH ASTROTURF

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Astroturf

A pro-business, pro-polluter grassroots campaign called ‘AVONA’ appears to have mysteriously sprung up in Avonmouth.

The ‘ASTROTURFING’ campaign (known as such because of its fake grassroots) appears to be very well funded indeed through a mystery slush fund, apparently being handled by a local business-friendly resident, Ian Smith with the help of a local church!

Smith has already set up a cheesy branded ‘Avona’ website registered in his name and he’s helped create and distribute 4,000 USELESS GLOSSY QUESTIONAIRES to residents. These questionaires – complete with paid reply envelopes – must have cost a fair few quid and it isn’t clear where Smith got the cash from.

Not least because neither ‘Avona’ nor any of the other names he uses for his “COMMUNITY ORGANISATION” like ‘Avonmouth Projects’ or ‘Avonmouth Village’ have formal constitutions, memberships or open accounts we can have a look at.

A handy means, then, of handling cash from UNDISCLOSED SOURCES who might want to avoid the scrutiny of any successful anti-pollution campaigners in Avonmouth. Especially campaigners who have been hitting business hard where it hurts – in the wallet.

As the Bristolian has already reported, Smith received £1,000 into his personal bank account from bust criminal waste polluters Boomeco just before last Christmas to fund seasonal festivities for the community in Avonmouth. This money has subsequently DISAPPEARED without explanation after many residents demanded it was returned to the polluters.

Smith also recently launched an ATTACK in the The Nazi Post on the organisers of a, potentially, multi-million pound legal class action against the local criminal polluters, Boomeco responsible for 2014’s fly plague. He described the trio as ‘VILE’ and claimed no one in the village supported them.

An unlikely claim as 200 residents have signed-up to SUE THE ARSE OFF Boomeco and its boss Oliver Latter. Smith, meanwhile, can claim the support of, er, Boomeco plus the company’s chief supporter and supplier of public money, Mayor Poison and some RETARDED VICAR prepared to put mysterious cash handouts through his church accounts to help out local businesses keen to fight local campaigners.

Smith is also reputed to have requested cash for a leaflet/questionaire from George Ferguson when he attended a small INVITATION-ONLY community meeting with Mayor Bent-as-Fuck in Avonmouth on 25 June. A PRIVATE MEETING organised through the supposedly public and city council-run Neighbourhood Partnership.

Quite why Bristol City Council would consider handing money to an individual POSING as a community organisation without working through the agreed, open and accountable Neighbourhood Partnership grants process is not at all clear.

Neither is it clear why Avonmouth’s Neighbourhood Partnership boss and city council employee, Keith “Lazy Boy” Houghton, has been offering support and encouragement to Smith, a FRIEND OF LOCAL POLLUTERS, while marginalising the views of, at least, 200 RESIDENTS involved in a wildy successful legal action against er, LOCAL POLLUTERS!

Rest assured the Bristolian will be keeping a close eye on these dodgy dealings …

LOSERS FOR GEORGE #2: DOING THE BUSINESS?

MARKETS: THE PERSISTENCE OF UNEXPLAINED AMOUNTS OF MISSING CASH

The City Council’s Audit Committee chair MARK “NO” BRAIN’s presentation of his yearly report to Full Council in July proved to be hugely entertaining for public and councillors.

Sporting a dazzling Salvador Dali tie, perhaps to highlight the surrealism of it all, a visibly wriggling, flustered and confused No Brain finally had to come up – publicly – with an explanation as to what’s been going in the council’s MARKET SERVICE for the last three years and what his committee’s done about it. And what a gem of an explanation we got!

No Brain confirmed that at least £41k was indeed MISSING from the service. Although he creatively upcycled and rebranded this embarrassing and inexplicable disappearance of cash from his description last month of it as “A DEBT” (owed by no one) to a “NOT QUITE A LOSS“!

He then claimed – WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE – that the money definitely hadn’t been “misappropriated” and this “not-quite-a-loss” was the result of “mismanagement and bad accounting”.

Raising the immediate question of what the hell is “BAD ACCOUNTING” and how does it make £41k disappear into thin air?

Can we all do that? Or is it only city council middle managers who are allowed to run a set of accounts so shite that CASH CAN JUST RANDOMLY DISAPPEAR without any explanation and then get formally explained away by an idiot in a Salvador Dali tie as a “not-quite-a-loss”?

At least we’ve all now learned how to rip cash off the council. Just generally fuck up your accounts by inaccurately recording any cash going into those accounts; pocket the cash; forget to reconcile cash in the bank with your accounts and wait for the council’s Internal Auditors to formally sign it off as a “not-quite-a- loss” due to “mismanagement”!

This is all a change of tune from April, however, when finance bosses led by their Service Director Peter “What Crisis?” Gillett told No Brain and his committee of gullibles that the missing cash was “NOT thought to be the result of misappropriation or BAD MANAGEMENT”

What’s changed since April? When did they decide that it was the fault of BAD MANAGEMENT? Are we seeing the wheels slowly coming off a poorly executed cover-up here as the excuses run out?

There’s plenty more questions to ask about all this too. Why are the council announcing this “not-quite-a-loss” now while a formal, FORENSIC AUDIT, announced in April, is still taking place? Until this audit is complete can the scale of their “not-quite-a-loss” really be officially confirmed?

So are council bosses still conspiring? This time to disguise any potentially bigger “not-quite-a-losses” from us?

An explanation is also needed about formal statements made on this matter over the summer of 2013 when both Mayor Bent Accounting and his sidekick Sir Gus Hoyty-Toyty publically insisted NO MONEY WAS MISSING from the Market Service.

Another, further, outright lie came in 2012 when the BBC were assured ON THE RECORD by the council’s PR department that NO MONEY WAS MISSING in markets and the whole episode was entirely down to an “antiquated” accounting system (even though the system was only a few years old!)

Council PR boss, Tim “Zombie” Borrett then briefed this exact same LIE to the Nazi Post in March 2014 when the bent little fucker bravely tried to blame The BRISTOLIAN for the suicide of his dubious colleague, Facilities boss Tony Harvey. The man DIRECTLY ACCOUNTABLE for the accuracy and coherence of the Market Service’s accounts.

At that time Zombie Borett was PEDDLING A LINE for shadowy senior council bosses and the mayor that butter wouldn’t melt in the mouths of any Market Service managers. They were poor innocents and unfortunates who had been horribly hounded by unscrupulous forces on the internet!

Zombie Borett also “forgot” to mention during his briefing to the Post that any money had gone missing in the Market Service. Now the very same markets bosses Zombie was aggressively defending are being fingered by senior figures within the council for “MISMANAGEMENT” and “BAD ACCOUNTING“.

It’s all slowly coming out isn’t it?

That Mark “No Brain” explanation of missing Markets money to Full Council on 21 July 2015 in full:

The issue of markets has been of some public interest in, er, some quarters.

Um (pause). Basically (pause). Um, er, we had an issue around management in the markets and the, er, loss, er, or not quite the loss (pause). The fact that £41,000 of marketing money. Er, rather markets money was unaccounted for.

Um (pause). Internal audit have investigated. They are of the view they will never find the £41,000. Um, er. They are of the view it hasn’t been misappropriated. It was just mismangement and bad accounting and that’s the reason we can’t find it. Rather than it’s actually been stolen … um.

#walrustrial: HOPKINS’ COPS A BELLYFLOP

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Gary “FUCKBUCKET” Hopkins, local Lib Dem boss and the undisputed king of ridicule, has reported a Bristolian to the police claiming ‘harassment’ after a four line comment appeared in the Evening Post on Friday:

After trying to contain themselves the officers at Broadbury Road police station happily dismissed the idiot time wasting liberal’s demented claim.

For, alas, it seems the cops at Broadbury Road have become a lot less accommodating of Fuckbucket’s personal foibles and requests since Southmead Police have started investigating their conduct with Hopkins.

Issues such as Broadbury Road cops handing Fuckbucket and his Lib Dem colleague, Mark Bailey, police intelligence regarding the Gothic Mansion at ASBO case conferences are now firmly in the spotlight.

Police are also becoming interested in hearing if the tiresome Fuckbucket is yet being investigated by the council for his behaviour. This was confirmed by the mayor and legal services a few weeks ago.

He doesn’t like it up him does he?

NO GOAT SEX PLEASE, I’M BARKING