Tag Archives: BBC

HOT MESS PRESS

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Our local press in their own words:

Media dissertation Max Thrower

‘How does local media serve local politics in Bristol?’ enquires “Meejah” Max Thrower, recently appointed political assistant to the Green councillor group. It’s the title, that’s just hit our newsdesk, of his recent dissertation for an MA in Political Communications from Goldsmiths College, London, a  hotbed of fashionable post-modern drivel. 

The first twenty pages of the forty-page effort are therefore inconsequential academic gobbledegook that even Goldsmiths’ tutors probably skipped reading judging by the amount of uncorrected typos twisting any vague bit of meaning in there.

The second section is where the action is. Featuring interviews with self-styled local experts like Bristol Cobblers’ (surely Cable? Ed) part-timer Neil “Professional Bristolian” Maggs; the Nazi Post’s Tristan “Gruppenführer” Cork;  Martin “Latte” Booth, Editor, Bristol 24/7; Alex “All At” Seabrook, a BBC Local Democracy Reporter (LDR) working out of the Post and Cobbler’s not-editor “Door” Matty Edwards. Also along for the ride were The Bristolian, the Greens’ Carla “Head Girl” Denyer plus a rare appearance from mayoral bag carrier “Slo” Kev Slocombe.

After a risible quote from the Press Gazette claiming these indistinguishable liberal left centrists of our local press have created “a media oasis“ in Bristol, it’s not long before our media stars are fighting like rats in a sack. “The issue of funding models and the supposed influence of corporate interests has created tension between media outlets,” and, “the tension between  outlets was most apparent between The Bristol Cable and Bristol 24/7 and the way that people viewed their funding,” we’re told.

“According to Neil [“Professional Bristolian”, Cobblers], Bristol 24/7 received money from a tobacco company that they used to fund a community reporter scheme. Martin [“Latte”, 24/7] described this advertising as a ‘necessary evil” and would love to see them not accept any advertising.” 

“The incident was called out by The Bristol Cable, who Tristan [“Gruppenführer”, Nazi Post], cheerily pointed out “get most of their money from philanthropic billionaires”.

“According to Martin [“Latte”, 24/7], The Cable’s grants allow them to “loudly criticize us [Bristol 24/7] for daring to accept advertising”. 

And on it goes: “People were also critical of Bristol 24/7, with Tristan saying that they “get their money from… a handful of rich people in Bristol”. [“Slo”] Kev believed that financial loss means they must be “bankrolled by a group of businessmen” that run bars and restaurants. Tristan noted that Bristol 24/7 have been called out in the past for “writing favourable things to do with pubs in Easton”.”

Adding to a sense of dodgy money washing around our gormless local press: “Martin [“Latte”] stated that Bristol 24/7 is a community interest company, although he didn’t know the details and liked “to just get on with the journalism side of things”.”

Neil [“Professional Bristolian”, Cobblers] then calls out his Cobbler’s colleagues as “Marxist in their origins and… a bit pompous and self-righteous with that at times”. Surely more to do with being middle class twats than anything to do with Marxism? Or is this Goldsmiths College style Marxism we’re talking here?

Rounding off a thoroughly undignified episode, Local Democracy Reporter Alex “All At” Seabrook – Marxist proclivities unknown – revealed that the thought of going out and speaking with actual Bristolians rather than communicating with middle class people on Twitter was “horrifying”. 

But last word to “Slo” Kev Slocombe (who should be a Marxist) hitting nails on heads: “[The Cable is] a vanity organization driven by mysterious tech money,” he explained.

In future, do look out for the local press complaining about politicians “squabbling”!

The dissertation’s solution to this local press hot mess is the completely shit idea of state funded media for Bristol. Probably the fastest route to creating the most dull ,unreadable crap imaginable. Censoriously micro-managed by some hideous unelected committee of wealthy establishment tosspots with a Merchant Venturer in the chair.

They will definitely not be Marxists.

Wanna read ‘How does local media serve local politics in Bristol‘? Drop us a line at bristoliannews@gmail.com and we’ll send you a copy.

Gotta a dissertation about Bristol? Send us a copy and we’ll give you the feedback your academic tutors won’t!

NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR CREATIVE HUB SO GET YOUR FUCKIN’ HEDGE CUT

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NO-ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR CREATIVE HUB SO GET YOUR FUCKIN' HEDGE CUT

The city’s PUBLICLY FUNDED West Bristol creative set were out in force for the opening of Channel 4’s Public School Hub (surely ‘Creative Hub’? Ed.) on 15 January.

What a great opportunity for our wealthy self-styled creative cognescenti to post their dull photos to Twitter and joylessly gush about ‘diversity’ from an UPMARKET OFFICE PARTY that you weren’t invited to.

The thrills, spills and excitement were led by ‘Mr Diverse’ himself, the Reverend Rees, who took to Twitter to ramble on about planks and city partners and allege that a whole NINE PER CENT of Channel 4’s staff were working class!

Although that won’t include the keynote speaker, Channel 4’s Chief Exec, Alex Mahon, educated at St Margaret’s, a fee paying school in Edinburgh or her new ‘Head of Bristol Hub’, Sacha “Daddy’s Boy” Mirzoeff. Sacha, we learn, got his start in broadcasting when he bagged a place on “THE HIGHLY COMPETITIVE MANAGEMENT TRAINING SCHEME AT THE BBC.”

Coincidentally at the time that daddy, Edward Mirzoeff CBE, was head of documentaries at, er, the BBC!

OFFICIAL: GYMKHANA JESS HAS NO STANDARDS

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GYMKHANA JESS HAS NO STANDARDS

Bad news for the snooty twats of BBC Radio Bristol up in leafy Clifton. The BBC’s Executive Complaints Unit has concluded that their hilarious ‘joke’ song ‘Hartcliffe Lass’, broadcast by Tory public schoolboy twerp James “Posh Cunt” Hanson on his shite radio show in March was a “SIGNIFICANT BREACH OF THE BBC’S EDITORIAL STANDARDS”.

This follows months of denial from Posh Cunt and his snooty Radio Bristol station boss, “Gymkhana” Jess Rudkin. Both claimed the song, which characterised young women in Hartcliffe as slags up for a bit of dogging and incest, was ABSOLUTELY FINE. Indeed, these entitled twats, who don’t seem to understand or care about their own editorial guidelines, began their defence by thoughtfully broadcasting to anybody objecting to their representation of working class Bristolians that they needed “TO GET OVER IT”.

However, when people chose not to, er, “get over it”, thicko station boss, “Gymkhana” Jess wrote out gormlessly explaining that “SOME PEOPLE FIND SOME THINGS FUNNY, SOME PEOPLE FIND THEM OFFENSIVE”. An explanation so vacuous and insipid it could be used to justify rape gags and race gags. Is this good enough from an arbiter of taste and standards on the public payroll?

At this point, presumably, to save the BBC from further embarrassment, “Gymkhana” Jess was sidelined and a new crew – “SENIOR STAFF IN BBC ENGLISH REGIONS” – took over to deal with mounting objections to Jess’s shit song and her shit excuses for it. This new lot of well-heeled BBC bosses first claimed that Hartcliffe was “A FICTIONAL SETTING” and therefore no offence could have been caused. Then they claimed that complainants’ views were “EXTREME“. Thus pitching Posh Cunt’s public schoolboy misogyny as some sort of normal, mainstream attitude suitable for broadcast on daytime BBC radio with no explanation or apology.

Insulted complainants, sick of the lies and bullshit emanating from local BBC management, passed the matter to the BBC’s Executive Complaints Unit who have admitted what most people already knew. THAT THE SONG BREACHED THE BBC’S EDITORIAL GUIDELINES and complainants had been subjected to a load arse-covering bullshit from inadequate local BBC bosses deliberately overlooking their own editorial guidelines. Although the person ultimately responsible for this dubious conduct, “Gymkhana” Jess, seems to have received NO SANCTION WHATSOEVER.

We suggest that both her and Posh Cunt are forced to quit the BBC and give up the generous pay and benefits. Then they can fuck off into YouTube obscurity with all the other nutters in the small corner of the internet reserved for their brand of reactionary, misogynistic right wing shit.


YELLOW VEST LAUNCHES RACIST/SEXIST ATTACK ON DEPUTY-MAYOR SOCK

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IN PRAISE OF LES GILETS JAUNES

By Lucy Balderdash, recently reassigned to the BBC (stop press)

Following on from the (alleged, ed.) persecution of Bristol Mayor Marvin Rees last weekend by a group of ‘disgusting anarchists’ and covered by The Guardian, the BBC can reveal that his deputy Asher Craig’s socks (are you sure? ed.) were brutally attacked by a yellow vest left on a wall outside the upstanding citizen’s home.

Bristol Deputy Mayor Asher Craig takes up the story: “I came out of my home on the very same morning as Marvin was savagely told to dye wool,” she explained breathlessly, “to find my socks engaged in a fight to the death with a racist/sexist yellow vest that had been lying on my wall in wait for me to come outside.”

“Luckily my socks got there first and overpowered the terrorist garment before I set foot outside. I hope my socks get an OBE for their bravery – one of them sustained severe dye damage and has some pulled threads that it sustained in the battle (so was this a sox-attack? ed.).”

The police are currently investigating links to the ‘Bob The Builder’ cartoon character, and any sexist/racist thought crimes regarding Asher Craig that he may have (are you quite sure Bob is a he, Lucy? ‘He’ may identify as a woman, ed.).

Owners of this white supremacist cartoon character in toy or video format are advised to come forward and surrender it to New Bridewell police station for immediate interrogation, or face the consequences.

(Err, could this story not arise out of a Grauniadesque typo in the headline, Lucy? ed.)

George ‘Kidd’ Mahoney ‘spontaneous’ commemoration at Wick House

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My name is Catherine Doherty and I am the Mother of George ‘Kidd’ Mahoney who died at Wick House on 29th November 2016.

I am having a ‘spontaneous’ event outside of Wick House at 2 pm tomorrow.  We will be attempting to put up two plaques on the perimeter wall to commemorate George and Paul Way (who died there last October).  Paul was left undiscovered for 3 days.  George’s two young sons will be trying to put the plaque for him up.

The BBC will be there and hopefully enough people to make it newsworthy.

We will be wearing Marvin masks and also Paul Wolfie Smith masks.

I do not have permission to have this event and I don’t care.  If you can make a link between the Zamparelli family and Wick House that will stick that would be a result.  If you can make a link between the money they make and their pampered son Dino Zamperelli, the famous Bristol Formula 3 driver even better.  The difference between the life their son has and the lives of the sons in Wick House is stark.

I have just set up a petition on Change.org to try and get the shit hole shut down.

Let me know if you are interested.

Keep up the good work.

GOLDEN BOY JOY FOR USELESS ENERGY FIRM

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Much fuss all round last month as the local BBC finally cottoned on to what we’ve been saying for over a year now and announced that the council’s vanity energy reselling firm, Bristol Energy, has now LOST £24MILLION with no end to the losses in sight!

The BBC even pointed out that the council’s so-called “INVESTMENT” in Bristol Energy jumped by 40 per cent in six months last year from £17million to £24million. But is it even an investment if you’re unlikely to get your money back?

Bristol City Council and Bristol Energy’s response to their loss-making disaster continues to be shrouded in “COMMERCIALLY CONFIDENTIAL” mystery. Although an UNKNOWN Bristol Energy spokesman assured the BBC that the money would be paid back “with interest”! How, we’re not told.

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, the city council director who set up the company, Bill “Dick” Edrich, has been quietly OUSTED as a director of Bristol Energy and replaced with the Reverend’s new golden boy, Colin “HEAD BOY” Molton of the Colin Molton Consultancy Ltd.

Head Boy, currently the very well remunerated interim Executive Director of Growth and Regeneration at the council, is the latest CHANCER to have the ear of the Reverend. He comes from a senior post at the Homes and Community Agency (HCA) and it appears he is being paid a SMALL FORTUNE in the region of £5k a week by the Reverend to get some housing developments moving in Bristol prior to the next mayoral election.

But what exactly does he know about the energy reselling business?

SCAM-A-LOT TELLING PORKIES (AGAIN)?

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‘Happy’ Property-Guardians pose at Coombe EPH with Camelot ‘Guardian Manager’ Mark Hurley (left) and Paul Lloyd Camelot ‘Regional Director’ (second right)

After a series of articles in The BRISTOLIAN and elsewhere uncovering the disgraceful and illegal conditions that Guardian-Tenants were living in Bristol City Council properties run by scam landlords CAMELOT, the so-called ‘security company’ has finally responded.

Late last year SCAM-A-LOT hired a PR company EMPICA from Canary Wharf in London to deal with the ‘truth crisis’ in Bristol and their expensive clanking PR machine has finally manufactured some ‘post-truth’ news in a Bristol Post article.

Several cringingly staged photos in the Post show unamed Guardian-Tenants ‘happily’ drinking tea with Camelot Guardian Manager Mark ‘Prize Wanker’ Hurley and Regional Director Paul ‘Porky Pie’ Lloyd at a Bristol City Council property Coombe EPH in Westbury-On-Trym.

There’s just one slight problem… it’s fake!

The BRISTOLIAN can exclusively reveal that the Guardian-Tenant pictured, Kofi Jamoa (far right) claims that at the time of the photo he:

  • wasn’t living in Coombe EPH
  • in fact wasn’t living in a Camelot property at all
  • he wouldn’t live in a Camelot property again after the way he was treated by them
  • was paid £1,500 by Camelot to do staged interviews with the BBC and the Bristol Post

So who are the other pretend Guardian-Tenants in the shot and where do they live? How much were they paid by Scam-a-lot? Readers of The BRISTOLIAN, lets name names!

And so ends another desperate, pathetic and expensive attempt to spin a story by the lying bastards at EMPICA and SCAM-A-LOT.

THE GREAT SIEGE OF RICHMOND TERRACE: SOME QUESTIONS

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With the occupation at 44 Richmond Terrace apparently winding down, it’s time to start asking some QUESTIONS about decisions regarding the occupation taken by by Bristol City Council.

Specifically questions about what senior bosses at Bristol City Council – who have just been awarded pay rises of up to 20 PER CENT to reflect their ‘expertise’ – have been up to.

To the untrained, non-corporate eye, their decision-making over Richmond Terrace has been consistently CRAP. Why did a group of highly paid ‘strategic managers’ have no strategy whatsoever throughout this whole occupation?

Instead the bosses seem to have staggered from one short term RANDOM DECISION to the next. Either based on Service Director Nick Hooper’s well-known PERSONAL DISLIKE of occupier, Steve Norman, or they have responded to events on the ground as they happened. All the precise opposite of what we’re over-paying these clowns to do.

The fact is the bosses directly responsible – Service Directors Nick “Drooper” Hooper and Mary “Contrary” Ryan and Strategic Director Alison “Three Jobs” Comley – on a combined income of around £310k per year – have been thoroughly OUTFOUGHT, OUT THOUGHT and OUT RUN during the last six weeks by a band of Bristolian activists.

Is this trio of useless twats really the best Bristol City Council can offer to solve our housing crisis?

Here’s some of the questions that the council and its highly paid bosses need to start answering:

1. Why did the sale of 44 Richmond Terrace go ahead at all on 20 April hours after it had been occupied by protestors?

2. Why did both Bristol City Council and their auctioneers tell the buyer the house was “rumoured” to be occupied when Steve Norman had emailed housing Service Director, Nick Hooper, at noon on 20 April informing him he had occupied the house?

3. Why did no one at Bristol City Council visit and confirm if the house had been occupied or not on 20 April before proceeding with the sale?

4. Did Bristol City Council receive confirmed reports from the BBC on 20 April, prior to the auction, that the house had been occupied?

5. Why did Bristol City Council do nothing between 20 April – when the house was occupied and then sold – and 18 May – when the sale should have completed – to regain possession of the home?

6. After 18 May why did Bristol City Council not attempt to negotiate a solution to the occupation until 31 May, once they had dismally failed to evict the occupants after half an hour trying?

7. Why did Housing Service Director, Mary Ryan, visit the occupiers on 23 May claiming she was negotiating a solution with them while offering nothing?

8. Why did Bristol City Council not obtain an eviction order until 25 May, five weeks after the occupation had begun and one week after the sale should have been completed?

9. Why did the council take six days, from 25 May to 31 May, to attempt to evict the occupiers, giving the occupiers time to dig in and secure the house?

10. Why, when the council’s bailiffs visited on Tuesday 31 May, were they not aware the occupiers were on the roof of the house – and had been since Friday 27 May as reported on the BBC – and that a specialist team was required to remove the occupiers rather than the gang of thick, useless oafs they sent.

11. Despite repeated requests to Housing Service Director, Nick Hooper from April 20, why has he never supplied written evidence that Anthony Palmer was not entitled to extra housing priority as an ex-serviceman because he had left the services over five years ago?

12. Why was Anthony suddenly awarded this extra housing priority on 31 May without explanation?

13. Why was Anthony Palmer allowed to be harassed by staff from Connolly & Callaghan, the private owners of his homeless hostel, through regular checks on his whereabouts throughout the day?

14. Why was Anthony Palmer threatened with eviction if he did not stay at his shithole Connolly & Callaghan homeless hostel overnight? Is it a prison?

15. Why did housing Service Director, Nick Hooper, consistently disregard the advice of social services and health visitors in relation to the urgent housing need of Anthony Palmer?

16. Why did the details of 44 Richmond Terrace supplied on the Hollis Morgan website describe the house as requiring “complete modernisaiton” (sic) while the so-called ‘structural report’ produced by Bristol City Council on 25 May says the building has “structural damage”?

17. Who wrote the 224 word ‘structural report’ for 44 Richmond Terrace for Bristol City Council and when?

18. Was this ‘structural report’ sufficiently detailed and complete for a senior council boss to take the delegated decision to sell 44 Richmond Terrace?

19. Which manager at Bristol City Council took the decision to sell 44 Richmond Terrace?

20. Why did the council undertake renovations at 44 Richmond Terrace in the year prior to its sale?

21. Did the council offer the former tenant the opportunity to return to 44 Richmond Terrace earlier this year after the council had completed repairs and renovation?

22. Why did a council spokesman say on 25 May, “Costs to bring the property up to the standard we aspire to for council houses were estimated in excess of £35,000″ when the figure stated in the council’s own ‘structural report’ is £30,000?

23. Why had no one at the council been in touch with the buyer at any point to discuss the occupation of the home they had sold to her?

24. Why did the council tell the buyer information on the occupation was “confidential”. On what legal basis was it “confidential”?

25. Why was the buyer reliant on information regarding 44 Richmond Terrace from the media; from Richard Carey and Steve Norman occupiers at the property and from BBC Radio who had contacted her at various times? Why did the council not communicate with her?

26. Why did the council misrepresent the actual facts regarding the sale during pre-contract enquiries by the buyer?

27. Why had Marvin Rees not seen an email sent to him by the buyer on Thursday 19 May by Monday 30 May despite the sender receiving an automated acknowledgement from Marvin’s council email account? Who had seen that email and who withheld it from the mayor?

We anticipate no answers to these questions as the council, its staff and its councillors will now pour a lot of time, money and resources into defending at all costs the bent, overpaid deadbeats responsible.

WHAT AN ANCHOR! COUNCIL LOSES REALITY ON PURCHES

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Former local news presenter GRAHAM ‘COMPULSIVE’ PURCHES is, by most people’s reckoning, an irritating twerp who needs to shut up and learn some manners -but not for awe-struck council managers.

Purches, who was big and going places at the BBC in the “golden age” of the 70s and 80s when the corporation was a playground for paedophiles and rapists, has for years been running a truly OBNOXIOUS CAMPAIGN against er, Elmlea Primary School in snooty Stoke Bishop, which his posh £600k home happens to overlook.

Purches – whose ascent to media stardom stalled somewhat when Beeb bosses sidelined him, leading him to jump ship to HTV – made the national news in 2012 thanks to his fixation on silencing kids. The washed-up newsreader fixed a massive sign to his house in full view of Elmlea’s playground, reading: ‘Please do not allow the children to scream or shout near our home. Thank you.’

Purches has also TERRORISED staff and children at the school with a strimmer and a leaf blower, and even reported the head for attempted murder – after she drove down the street when he was walking his dog!

Enter Bristol City Council and its interim Manager NEIL TAYLOR, who recently went to visit Mr Purches to sort it all out.

And what did he do? Tell the old fool to shut up? Suggest he move, perhaps? Er, not quite. No, our intrepid Man From Shitty Hall agreed to spend £30,000 OF OUR MONEY on a six metre acoustic fence so that poor Purches wouldn’t be disturbed by vicious infants!

Does this mean that any resident bordering a school who has an issue with noise will be able to claim a £30,000 fence from the council? Or is this a special privilege reserved for posh BBC types living in Stoke Bishop?

I think we should be told…